3 Shocking Reasons Pinterest Starts with “P”

I recently met a smart, savvy female blogger who touted the awesomeness of Pinterest. I’ve used it a few times (with little success) but after our conversation I logged back on. To my delight there were zillions of great ideas that I couldn’t wait to try with Felicity. I pinned and pinned until my pinning finger pulsed with pain.

The next morning I was psyched (could the P stand for psyched?!) about bringing the Pinterest ideas to life with Felicity. Over breakfast, she could barely get a babble in edgewise. I blabbed and blabbed about the crafts we were going to make and how everyone would just love our valentine’s day cards imprinted with hearts made from a squished toilet paper roll dipped in red paint. Yes. That’s what we were going to do and it was going to be F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S.

Finally it was time! Man oh man, I wish Felicity knew what I knew! What joy we would have putting the crafts together! Her shrieking with glee and me smiling back knowing that I’m raising a well rounded child and single handedly enriching her life with art and sensory play.

Driving to the craft store, I realized that the P in Pinterest must stand for pint sized Picasso. Mine was in the back seat, just minutes away from creating her masterpiece.

It wasn’t long though – before I realized what the P in Pinterest really stands for.

1.) Prozac:

• The time, effort and aggravation you spend trying to recreate a picturesque Pinterest pin will most certainly leave you feigning for Prozac. I thought I had enough of this before when I decided to make my own Easter wreath based on a Pinterest pin. I wasn’t happy with the wreath but I thought I was just being a perfectionist – surely my husband would like it. I hung it and eagerly awaited the compliments. He took one look at the wreath, one look at me and shook his head walking away saying: This house used to be cool.

2.) Poor:

• Pinterest will leave you poor. Don’t fall for all that DIY is cheaper crap. It just isn’t true. By the time you buy all the supplies, attempt to make it, reach for an element you thought you had at home but can’t find, go back out to the store, finish it, realize it’s pathetic looking, rationalize to yourself that you should just forget about it – but now you can’t because you’ve invested so much time and money into it, recreate it again, and so-on… you will be POOR. Time is money people, leave the crafts to the crafty.

and last but definitely not least…

3.) Child P-rotective Services (cPs):

• While on hunt for your craft supplies you might be so in the zone that you look away from you child for a few minutes only to be jarred back to reality when she comes to your side chewing a baseball player’s wad size of gum. Hmmm… how can that be you wonder knowing that you did not give her any gum and besides, she doesn’t have all her teeth. Then you spot it – dangling from her hand like a dead rat – it’s one of those gummy water filled worm only good for squishing with your bacteria laden hand and collecting dust, lint, hair and every other microbe in sight. You know, the worms with 8 dangly legs. Only this worm had 7 legs.
• You make it out of the craft store with your precious bundle in one piece and arrive home to embark on craftpalozza. You ease into it with some mixed media – markers and crayons on construction paper. Your phone rings but it’s in the other room so you have to get up from the table. A quick hello, busy, goodbye and back to mother daughter time right? Wrong. You take one look at your child and shriek: You have a black eye! Nope. It’s just purple marker all over her face. Of course, it’s non-toxic and washable… but what 1.5 year old do you know that will let you rub near her eye with a washcloth multiple times?!
• The next day, you think your Pinterest woes are over… they have to be, right? Wrong. You spot your child eyeballing on of yesterday’s Pinterest projects. In your excitement of thinking that all of your efforts were not in vain you quickly reach over to get it (the pipe-cleaner sorter/shaker made out of an old raisin container) and you elbow your daughter smack in the side of the head.

My sister-in-law is taking Felicity to music today. I dressed Felicity in a shirt that says “Mommy’s sweetheart”. My sister in law’s taking her own car. There’s no way CPS can prove that F is my daughter not hers – they’re spitting images of each other! Good luck, sis!